One of the most common questions that I am asked is, “Was Fred Flintstone gay?” In fact, I was recently asked to speak at a colloquim at The University of Sodom and Gomorrah, located right outside of Paris, France on the topic: Fred Flintstone- a top or a bottom?
There is substantial evidence that would lead one to believe that Fred was a man’s man (if you know what I mean).
- It is well established fact that he was constantly in search of a dabba-do time, a yabba dabba do time, a gay ol’ time. Listen carefully to the end.
- Fred liked to wear animal skins, a trait shown to be shared by homosexuals from Uzbekistan to Tajikistan.
- He was in the Construction Industry? Can you say, “Village People?”
- Have you ever met a bigger bear than “Mr.” Barney Rubble? Enough said.
- He had a pink dinosaur. Homosexuals love pink dinosaurs.
- Fred was an active member in the Loyal Order of Water Buffalos. Do you know a gayer animal than the buffalo? It practically prances! Well, maybe the butterfly, and dolphins. But buffalos are definitely in the top five gayest animals to ever inhabit the planet.
- As can be seen in the photo below, Fred just looked and acted quite gay.
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Fred acting effeminate.
Well, I’m here to tell you that Fred Flintstone was 100% heterosexual caveman. And now I’m about to divulge a piece of information that Perez Hilton would give up his lifetime front row tickets to Miss Lady Gaga to have. This is going to blow the socks off of Bedrock. Are you sitting down?
Fred and Betty Rubble were lovers. Yup, that’s right. Fred Flintstone and Ms. Elizabeth ‘Betty’ Jean Rubble (née McBricker) were lovers. Now, before you get all judgmental on Fred and Betty, keep a couple of things in mind. Polygamy and “relationships outside of marriage” were much more socially accepted in pre-historic times than they are today (except of course, if you are French). Wilma was a frigid bitch. Excuse me for being so blunt, but my g-d, that woman had an ice pick up her ass! I never liked her. She was very abusive with Pebbles. Fred and Betty were a sort of Romeo and Juliet. The Flintstones were devout pagans. They would never let their son Fred date a woman who worshipped fire even if she was quite the gorgeous shiksa.
One more juicy bit of info before I leave you. You want to talk leather pants and bath houses: meet George Jetson.
